15 apr, 2006

"i just don't know what to do, i've never been so blue, keep wishing it wasn't true, what's wrong with me is you."

1 oct, 2005

"the flowers only make it worse they hang around, but it still hurts, when they fall apart."

9 sept, 2005

"just another tuesday, jaeger haze, i can't say no, when it starts flowin. i hallucinate you said come home, but it's too late, the bartender's sharkin."

24 sept, 2005

"the sun shows the dust of morning, nightstand with your glasses on it, where you lay next to me."

14 aug, 2005

"there is a moment when it's right, dreams of tomorrow not tonight, there is a moment for that kiss, you play it over and over and over like this."

2 feb, 2005

"don't do a thing, you're perfect. so where you been juliette. i had forgotten how to smile, now i'm learning."

8 aug, 2004

"pulling this weight around pushing me further down, there's only one way. knock my body to the ground spitting blood, there's only one way."

10 apr, 2004

"get out of my head, get out of my way, i'm not sure that i'm even here. get out of my dreams, pulling this thread, am i coming apart? one foot in front of the other why bother, i never get where i belong. could be left, right, night after night, upsidedown perfectly wrong."

2 oct, 2003

"white roses sometimes green eys, give me back my breath, i'll treat you so right, very heaven."

22 sept, 2003

"it started all roses and kissing with teeth, she'd spin my days and my nights into weeks. her smiles like questions ring in my mind, my love keeps me guessing most of the time. heaven made her beautiful but i made her scream, i try not to wonder or wake from this dream."

7 july, 2003

"you're gonna lose forever, don't i know what you need, stop your running wide circles round, come around."

8 june, 2003

"it should be easy to do, i keep falling. it should be easy to do but it never is. frozen blue in solitary, i can't get started, shaken still, my hope my heart soon parted."

10 may, 2003

"what of forever, what of together, happy landings, til the next time."

8 jan, 2003

"she said i think you might have gone too far. man am i gonna show her, i'm gonna show her. i can't remember where i left my car, i'm waking up in brooklyn, waking up in brooklyn. i'm not giving up the game, i want to spin me over again and again and again, i wanna hear it on vinyl, it's always better on vinyl."

2 jan, 2003

"waiting for my ship to come in waiting for my ship to come. i'm so high i can't swim, i'm so high. waiting for my ship to come in, waiting for my ship to come. jackpot."

1 dec, 2002

"we can't go back to how it used to be, that dream inside our memory when everything was fine. asleep inside this history, we try to hide our eyes from what we see, will we wake up in time. i'm not afraid to die, but i am afraid of dying bad, when there's so much love ahead of us, but we can't stop looking back. i don't want this war, sing it with me now, i don't want this war, jesus where are you now."

1 dec, 2002

"she can make blue happy, she can even make blue happy. she can even make blue seem happy, and i love her."

24 nov, 2002

"come on shake awake and sing. the time is right, up for anything, trying on something new, so fine there's nothing i can't do."

4 sept, 2002

"we share this dream of long ago, five houses down the road, come giant steps in between stretch the fabric at the seams, to cover us again."

12 july, 2002

"can't help myself walking so green, talking carefully, around you. i wish to not forget, your need, pushing wide slamming into me, i lost you. there'll be no falling asleep this time, no more waking up for me to find, medicated, blind."

02 june, 2002

"ruby, she's gonna make you pay, for every second you're without her. ruby, she's gonna find her way, naked in your daydreams. she's and overdose of popcorn at the movies. she slips and kaleidoscopes across the floor like, moonbeams. ruby's spinning answers to my most important questions, she whistles without meter, my latest great obsession."

13 apr, 2002

"say you want me but you don't love me, i'm to weak to be this lonely, junk passion better than tv, just don't wake up and tell me you need me. no savior, no treasure, i'm all now and no forever, junk passion for the lonely, i will break you my one and only." (cross reference - see below entry sept 11 1998)

9 apr, 2002

"broken heart strings, up in smoke dreams, question everythings. what does it mean. gone. pulled my hair while you slept tight. tore my voice in pieces each night. two wrongs, ain't right."

21 mar, 2002

"don't you know there's gonna be days enough like these, are you ready. Learn to love what comes between the extraordinary, are you ready. this is life. this is your life."

20 feb, 2002

"doing time, missing the beat, tripping on, borrowed feet, breathing in, breathing out, trying not to think about, getting high like a tree, ever growing, my heart is slowing down. tall and wide gracefully, overflowin, my heart is slowing down."

8 feb, 2002

"when i was low, and so afraid, of the sound of my own name. didn't know what my father knows, shining now."

15 jan, 2002

"big rich, big poor, who are you working for, let's tear it down, the time is now."

10 dec, 2001

"i've been listening to the girls on the subways talking, i can see it in the boys on the streets as they're walking, we all want the same, we want the same thing.
love me, never let go. love me don't you ever let go."

19 sept, 2001

"when i was blonde, i only had to dream, to get what i want, when i was blonde, everyday a birthday. upon a time i believed everything you were telling me, when i was blonde. running around dying to be seen, trying not to seem like i was running around, paralyzed every night. overcome with ecstasy buying everything you were selling me, when i was blonde."

9 sept, 2001

"watching the wind blow leaves down, hating the beautiful flowers. how can i understand what don't make sense. sometimes i smile, laugh until i scream, you're at my shoulder, outlaughing me. will the sun even shine, lost my faith in forever, living this moment in time, it's now or never." (in memory of boyo)

29 july, 2001

"i walk with the suits. paralyzed by the sway of sundresses. each afternoon, round the block to score me some breakfast. i brace myself for one more day, i miss me since you went away."

5 june, 2001

"lover, tell me do you still believe? once more, cause lately i can hardly breathe, i try not to think about it, i try not to think about it. don't look so tired, we can't stop now, when i'm so wired, gonna make it somehow."

3 june, 2001

"i had two girls on my mind, you weren't one of them, since you told me off last time, we were together, then i saw you in the bar, turned around and there you were, i guess that's the way, that's the way it happens. love just happens."

5 may, 2001

"i tried to please her. it wasn't meant to be. swore i'd never leave her, then she left me. i didn't stand in her way, i knew i'd be ok. it wasn't all that bad anyway, i've got so much love to give. you know that i do, and i might just save some for you."

25 april, 2001

"where would i be without the loving web you spin around me? what would i do without you?"

22 april, 2001

"i believe everything that i read, i dream me into every movie that i see. this is a problem, she said, you might get your chance, who is it you want to be? who is it you want to be? who is it you want to be?"

4 april, 2001

"i hear your voice inside my head, saying what are we gonna do? sugar don't you listen, there's nothing but me and you."

24 march, 2001

"focused on the repitition of every scene, tired of pretending, playing happy. no more living this way, nothing grows nothing changes. gotta turn off my tv."

28 february, 2001

"don't go giving up on us. don't be looking down things are looking up.
we always find a way to get through, making love when the rent check's due. we can do it together."

18 january, 2001

"forgive me if i sleep, but you never let me speak, you don't listen anyway. pushed around by your tv, you want everything you need, won't let noone in your way."

16 january, 2001

"necessary conversation. ordinary inspiration. takes one to know one i guess. she couldn't wait to tell me about...as she did i tuned her out, i've been around long enough to know when i'm a mirror, i wish that i was digital so i wouldn't have to see her."

18 november, 2000

"it's never good to be too pink."

9 november, 2000

"i said, did you ever stare at xmas lights and think you were blind? she wasn't really listening; it wasn't the first time. facing the bottles there, we played charades, i was old grandad and she was tangeray. waiting for the ice to rise in her glass, once her head tapped the bar i called us a cab."

13 october, 2000

"at the bar we would linger, blowing smoke rings round her fingers."

15 september, 2000

"drifting from the shallows of you to the cold black of our dreams. i am the tether that brings you back."

15 September, 2000

"driving on a monday night speeding past two am, driving on a monday knowing she's sleeping."

5 august, 2000

"voices yelling at a whisper as if i couldn't hear, lying still awake beneath blanket i disappear."

10 july, 2000

"seven cents at a time buying up those little minds. didn't know it at the time,this little white lie. did you forget...milkmoney?"

12 june, 2000

"i know the road is its own reward."

14 may, 2000

"thought i had a good thing going, right on. i had no way of knowing, i did not have a clue about fixing anything, until it all started breaking. i thought i was my dad but i was helpless, once i was out there i was helpless."

27 april, 2000

"dark and stormy is what she poured me, i remember. sweet like ginger beer, she was my banner year the night i met her."

12 april, 2000

"ride, ride, ride she said to chambers wtc. through the turnstyle i'm thinking, like kate and leo is this love sinking? i barely know her, she could be dangerous, hell what else am i living for stand clear of the closing doors."

20 march, 2000

"my head spills over with her thoughts. she weaves moonlight into my wildest hair."

26 feb, 2000

"car horns suck the music from my eyeballs. i am naked on a pepsi street, in the afternoon of everyone else's daydream. my feet and my shoes will never get along."

16 jan, 2000

"sometimes you just don't know who your friends are. somedays the clouds hang low, wherever you are. no one seems to notice, as i'm slipping out of focus. with one good eye open, i'm hoping this is gonna be my year."

13 Dec, 1999

"all this toxic love is under my fingers, it runs in my blood like a tire in the river; my tongue as a muscle grows bigger and bigger."

5 Dec, 1999

"my skin is thick with the freshness of pavement. i laugh as you stick, i'm black on your shoes."

21 Nov, 1999

"we kissed on blvds and dark medieval streets, she skipped through traffic, just to get to me. my hair was perfect, hers shot with red, more in her mouth than on her head. if i could only get back to paris.
loved me in leather until i changed my mind, running in raindrops most of the time, sacre coeur was so high on a foggy day, we turned around and paradise so slipped away. if i could only get back to paris."

16 Sept, 1999

"it was never clear how far i was to go."

1 Sept, 1999

"open your mouth and breathe...open your eyes...you said nothing, it's really nothing, but the gathering."

25 Aug, 1999

"i'm tired of carrying this old soul around. i don't know why i understand these things that i do. i regret that it's so boring to be with you. i'll be alone if i have to, i rather enjoy myself, but i need love like everybody else. out of joint, out of time, out of patience, out of mind, i'm tired of carrying this old soul around."

15 Aug, 1999

"faster, faster. faster, faster still. only the rules have changed."

7 July, 1999

"you're all talk and all take. with all the inspiration you fake, you can keep your love. i won't bend, i won't break."
i'm fine sean.

27 June, 1999

"faded yellow fortune teller couldn't hide the tears she cried, deaf to all the cards could tell her, she just lied."

2 June, 1999

"matson jones stumbled home to a hollow street where the cabs won't go, one two hours more of shadows growing across the floor; with no mail to dread no ringing phone, just a constant tugging at his soul, restless feet taste the street in search of something more. it's just what i do for money, it's not what i do for me, it's just what i do for money takes the best part of me."

20 May, 1999

memories of high school - "imperfect dream, restless sleep, stolen moments i can keep, half awake, and in between. from underneath this endless ream, mirror mirror magazine, how life's supposed to be. how did we ever survive the best years of our lives? if we could somehow find a way to send them up again someday, would you go back?"

26 Apr, 1999

"it's in the numbers free your mind, it's in the tarot read the signs, a life measured not in time, but in the sound you make."

12 Apr, 1999

"there is no right or wrong. this is the sound, of me letting you down."

2 Apr, 1999

just knowing you're out there makes me feel less anxious.

16 Mar, 1999

"did you save your best regards for me? was that just absent formality? sorry about these questions, i don't even wanna hear, sorry about these questions, just one more thing, one more thing..."

8 Mar, 1999

"we're gonna go where we can shine." david gray

26 Feb, 1999

"used to have a great gig, always had a real stash, always had a big time, i remember, i was a bartender."

23 Feb, 1999

"arrows, broken in the middle, sticking out of my t-shirt, the pain grows, by a little, the blood runs down my fingers, there up ahead i see, in the place we happen to meet, light and sweet for you, black for me." beatlesy, mid-tempo

17 Feb, 1999

"i need to keep growing won't you come along with me, you need this more than everything; crawl up into a ball and sleep under my millions, lately it feels like...curtains." i call this curtains. 3:46a.m.

4 Feb, 1999

" the bartender rings me like a bell."

22 Jan, 1999

i am just a bug.

31 Dec, 1998

believing that you can create is as good as creating sometimes. mighty, mighty other me makes music.

15 Dec, 1998

sean and i spent some truly inspirational time well after midnight assembling some goodies for everyone.

7 Dec, 1998

the great disappointment - "a corner of my life lays bare, spent my time waiting there, for the rains to come, the sky to fall. no one can console me now, no tender words, no reason how, up in smoke, mist, fog, what-all."

20 Nov, 1998

"you can put it down lack of patience, put it down lack of sleep, but it's in my head to stay in bed tucked under the sheets." - housemartins.

12 Nov, 1998

yesterday off. met rufus wainwright, saw a movie, had much coffee. changed the name of "listen with your soul" to "Your Great Escape."

7 Nov, 1998

"graduating to more expensive daydreams."

4 Nov, 1998

it occurred to me that everything i know i learned from watching cartoons.

23 Oct, 1998

"the older i get the less i look like me; the person i wanted to be. i'm too honest with myself, i wish that i could lie to me like everybody else, but there's no talking to me."

28 Sept, 1998

"in the room the women come and go talking of michelangelo."

11 Sept, 1998

the thing is i have a couple of songs in the oven, but i'm hungry now. some song titles i am excited about include - "i'm always leaving but i never go away" (longest title yet!), "junk passion", "redhead" and "think big".

1 Sept, 1998

nothing heals like sleep.

14 August, 1998

las montanas son grandes.
ten days to reflect in the shadow of the mission mountains outside of missoula montana. three songs resulted from the journey.

29 July, 1998

in case anyone was wondering it takes about thirteen hours to drive through the night from Nashville to Philadelphia. jotted down some ideas on the road, but didn't have much time to sit and play - but saw some great songwriter's in Nashville and Atlanta, and drank at Robert's to some great c&w music. plan to write in Montana next week.

15 July, 1998

i am studio drunk. somehow when i have the least amount of time to sit down and write the spirit overtakes me. i feel so creative in the studio that when i get home i work some more. send money.

7 July, 1998

recovery time - need sleep. lots of song ideas in the ether, need to pin something down by the end of this week before those strands fade into nothingness. beginning work on demo with the Bricklin bros. at INDRE.

24 June, 1998

ok - done with this past wave of creativity. damage - six total, recorded in my kitchen - this week trying to concentrate on impending demo recording. four songs to be recorded at INDRE studios (most likely) in Philadelphia. will hold the newest stuff from the band for now - you should hear new tunes in my solo shows.

13 June, 1998

four songs pretty much ready - plus assorted fragments.
one is right there but i just can't get it - been carrying it around all morning - to the bank and back, picked up the guitar but its not there - you can't force some things.

been working on an ep - recorded live, just me and guitar - mostly new stuff that I haven't been performing with the band - some old stuff that has been in my coffeehouse sets for a while. anyway it might be called hatwork and it might be available soon. work in progress.